Waiting... and waiting... and waiting.... it was driving me INSANE!! I called the lab again to make sure the test wasn't lost. "That test isn't done in-house, it is sent out for processing. So it is pending. You should hear within 5 days." Five days? Oh My! I felt like she just told me 5 years! But the good news was the test was done and I just had to wait..... waiting.... that thing I seem to be so good at..... NOT!!
Then I get an email.... your test results are in. Here we go again. Am I ready for this? Is it going to be "good" news. Regardless I need to know so I click on the email, open the link, close my eyes briefly and then open them. WOO HOO!!! The test confirmed (well not 100%) that ovulation had taken place this month. My body was doing what it needed to be going.... it was obeying. Of course the previous test that showed negative for pregnancy still stuck in my head. BUT I'm still holding onto hope that the sperm and egg wanted to meet this time and that it is just too early. Let's just hope "something" is going on in that uterus of mine.
Fortune from lunch today "You and your spouse will be happy in life together"
So I leave you with a Poem for Hope A Hong Kong Proverb
As long as we have hope,
we have direction, the energy to move,
and the map to move by.
We have a hundred alternatives,
a thousand paths and infinity of dreams.
Hopeful, we are halfway to where we want to go;
Hopeless, we are lost forever.
Hope.... I still have it :-)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Today was my lucky day to get my blood drawn.... another poke. It was time to see what my body did this cycle. Was it doing what is was suppose to? Only time would tell.
Time... which seemed to be standing still. Then I got an email.... my results were in. My heart started to race and I got nervous. I called the hubby, "You stay on the phone with me as I open it up." and open I did..... my hands were shaking.... I could barely move the mouse to open the results.....
hCG <5.... so you all want to know.... what does that mean? Well it means that we aren't pregnant. hCG or Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin is the most common test used to detect a pregnancy in the very early weeks. The hCG hormone starts to be released into the woman's blood stream soon after the baby implants into the lining of her uterus at about 8 to 12 days after conception. The hCG blood level will initially start off very low (5 mIU/ml), but then rapidly increase, doubling every 2 to 3 days, so that within a few days, to a week or so the hCG level becomes high enough to be detected in the woman's urine, at about 50 to 80 mIU/ml. Once this level is achieved, a urine pregnancy test will show as being 'positive'.
BUT... the good news.... I'm still hopeful. We're still waiting on one blood test to confirm that I ovulated this cycle. Also, as I read more and more articles on the internet hCG can rise anywhere from 7-12 days after implantation. So... since I didn't get a surge until Sunday I likely did ovulate until Monday (or maybe even Tues a.m.) which means it has only been say 7 days.... there is still hope..... right?
Time... which seemed to be standing still. Then I got an email.... my results were in. My heart started to race and I got nervous. I called the hubby, "You stay on the phone with me as I open it up." and open I did..... my hands were shaking.... I could barely move the mouse to open the results.....
hCG <5.... so you all want to know.... what does that mean? Well it means that we aren't pregnant. hCG or Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin is the most common test used to detect a pregnancy in the very early weeks. The hCG hormone starts to be released into the woman's blood stream soon after the baby implants into the lining of her uterus at about 8 to 12 days after conception. The hCG blood level will initially start off very low (5 mIU/ml), but then rapidly increase, doubling every 2 to 3 days, so that within a few days, to a week or so the hCG level becomes high enough to be detected in the woman's urine, at about 50 to 80 mIU/ml. Once this level is achieved, a urine pregnancy test will show as being 'positive'.
BUT... the good news.... I'm still hopeful. We're still waiting on one blood test to confirm that I ovulated this cycle. Also, as I read more and more articles on the internet hCG can rise anywhere from 7-12 days after implantation. So... since I didn't get a surge until Sunday I likely did ovulate until Monday (or maybe even Tues a.m.) which means it has only been say 7 days.... there is still hope..... right?
Friday, August 7, 2009
Taking each day.... one at a time. Tried to have a nice few days and not worry about all the poking and proding.... and the hopeful end result. Stress isn't a good thing, so I tried my best to be cool, calm and collected - which meant trying my best to NOT think about it. Easier said than done.
I met a girlfriend for lunch and was able to gather alot of information from her as she just recently went through it all (and it blessed with two little ones via IVF!). Taking with people who've been through it before is helpful. It gives you another perspective and allows you to really understand the process and what all it might entail. She told me that they had decided they would do whatever it took to have little ones, even if it meant selling their house. Could I see us selling our house to pay for the fertility treatments? Would that be a wise decision? Would that help in our end goal? A very heavy and emotional load to carry. What would/will we do should it come down to this?
One thing she said however struck a cord with me.... It WILL happen, it is just a matter of when and how. Thinking of "it" happening brought a smile to my face and at that moment in time I saw myself as a mom :-)
I met a girlfriend for lunch and was able to gather alot of information from her as she just recently went through it all (and it blessed with two little ones via IVF!). Taking with people who've been through it before is helpful. It gives you another perspective and allows you to really understand the process and what all it might entail. She told me that they had decided they would do whatever it took to have little ones, even if it meant selling their house. Could I see us selling our house to pay for the fertility treatments? Would that be a wise decision? Would that help in our end goal? A very heavy and emotional load to carry. What would/will we do should it come down to this?
One thing she said however struck a cord with me.... It WILL happen, it is just a matter of when and how. Thinking of "it" happening brought a smile to my face and at that moment in time I saw myself as a mom :-)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Can the natural energy found in certain gemstones actually increase your fertility and help you get pregnant faster? Well at this point it is worth a try right? My girlfriend Dawn is so thoughtful and always looking out for me (us). She did her research and found gemstones that are typically associated with increased fertility. So home I went with my brown bag filled with healing crystals.
The idea of healing crystals is that the gems contain an abundance of not only minerals, but also a type of natural energy that comes from those minerals and other elements of the earth. The “science” behind the use of “gemstone” therapy stems less from any “magical” qualities they may possess than from the ability of certain natural elements to impact our body chemistry in certain specific ways.One way to think of it is like taking a vitamin and mineral supplement. Not everyone needs them and not everyone benefits from them. But certainly there is a growing body of evidence to show that under certain circumstances they can certainly help. At this point in our journey them seemed like a natural fit!
Gemstone healing also focuses on the links between certainnatural gemstones and crystals, and the seven "chakras" or energy points in the body. Many believe that the stresses of modern day living - including stressing out over trying to get pregnant (I'm so tired of hearing don't worry it will happen.... my emotions are so up and down and I do worry!) - can cause these energy points to work less efficiently, ultimately affecting your overall health in myriad ways. When this is the case, certain gems and crystals are believed to have the ability to replenish and refocus these energy chakras to stimulate healing and promote optimum ealth and well being - including optimizing fertility. Once again a natural fit!
First step... you need to clear them. She said that the person who "needed" the stones had to do the clearing. So last night we "cleared" our stones under the water. Clearing is necessary before using any stone for healing. The clearer the energy of a healing stone, the more powerful it is. Crystals and healing gemstones need to be cleared as soon as they are purchased as well as clearing after every healing. Next step.... place them around..... we have some under our pillows and others on our nightstand. We had a lovely rose quartz piece that I noticed as I took it out of the bag had chipped off some. So I place the "big" portion on my nightstand and the other "little" portion on his nightstand. Maybe that was a good luck sign :-)
In case you are wondering what gemstones have been know to be associated with fertility here they are with a brief description:
1) Rose quartz (also known as the love stone): Stimulates both the heart and blood and consequently other organs as well. Also known to stimulate sexual energy and to enhance fertility. Place one (or more) on the body part of your choice, near your body or bodies, in your bedroom, or anywhere that the two of you meet for delicious intimacy or passionate love-making.
2) Amethyst: Bolsters the production of the hormones, and strenghtens the cleansing organs, the circulatory system and blood, the immune system, and body metabolism. Amethyst soothes the nervous system and aids in the transmission of neural signals.
3) Moonstone: Increases fertility, boosts ovulation
4) Green adventurine (also know as Stone of Heaven): An all-around healer (mental, emotional physical). It soothes, heals, and balances. It opens and soothes a wounded heart. Enhances intelligence. Increases opportunities and motivation. Brings luck and adventures in love and games. A Prosperity stone.
5) Lepidolite: (Also know as Dream Stone): It will protect the individual from nightmares, especially those caused by stress or an upset in personal relationships.
So here we are on day 3 on the two week wait.... armed with healing crystals too!! If nothing else they are beautiful to look at and bring a smile to my face.
The idea of healing crystals is that the gems contain an abundance of not only minerals, but also a type of natural energy that comes from those minerals and other elements of the earth. The “science” behind the use of “gemstone” therapy stems less from any “magical” qualities they may possess than from the ability of certain natural elements to impact our body chemistry in certain specific ways.One way to think of it is like taking a vitamin and mineral supplement. Not everyone needs them and not everyone benefits from them. But certainly there is a growing body of evidence to show that under certain circumstances they can certainly help. At this point in our journey them seemed like a natural fit!
Gemstone healing also focuses on the links between certainnatural gemstones and crystals, and the seven "chakras" or energy points in the body. Many believe that the stresses of modern day living - including stressing out over trying to get pregnant (I'm so tired of hearing don't worry it will happen.... my emotions are so up and down and I do worry!) - can cause these energy points to work less efficiently, ultimately affecting your overall health in myriad ways. When this is the case, certain gems and crystals are believed to have the ability to replenish and refocus these energy chakras to stimulate healing and promote optimum ealth and well being - including optimizing fertility. Once again a natural fit!
First step... you need to clear them. She said that the person who "needed" the stones had to do the clearing. So last night we "cleared" our stones under the water. Clearing is necessary before using any stone for healing. The clearer the energy of a healing stone, the more powerful it is. Crystals and healing gemstones need to be cleared as soon as they are purchased as well as clearing after every healing. Next step.... place them around..... we have some under our pillows and others on our nightstand. We had a lovely rose quartz piece that I noticed as I took it out of the bag had chipped off some. So I place the "big" portion on my nightstand and the other "little" portion on his nightstand. Maybe that was a good luck sign :-)
In case you are wondering what gemstones have been know to be associated with fertility here they are with a brief description:
1) Rose quartz (also known as the love stone): Stimulates both the heart and blood and consequently other organs as well. Also known to stimulate sexual energy and to enhance fertility. Place one (or more) on the body part of your choice, near your body or bodies, in your bedroom, or anywhere that the two of you meet for delicious intimacy or passionate love-making.
2) Amethyst: Bolsters the production of the hormones, and strenghtens the cleansing organs, the circulatory system and blood, the immune system, and body metabolism. Amethyst soothes the nervous system and aids in the transmission of neural signals.
3) Moonstone: Increases fertility, boosts ovulation
4) Green adventurine (also know as Stone of Heaven): An all-around healer (mental, emotional physical). It soothes, heals, and balances. It opens and soothes a wounded heart. Enhances intelligence. Increases opportunities and motivation. Brings luck and adventures in love and games. A Prosperity stone.
5) Lepidolite: (Also know as Dream Stone): It will protect the individual from nightmares, especially those caused by stress or an upset in personal relationships.
So here we are on day 3 on the two week wait.... armed with healing crystals too!! If nothing else they are beautiful to look at and bring a smile to my face.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So I learn something new at each office visit! Sometimes I feel like I'm back in school, and all too often I'm asking TOO many questions.
Who knew that only 14% of sperm are "normal" shaped? Really? So you are telling me that 86% of them are "abnormal"? Well they are coming from men right. HA! What is up with the rest of them? Well... they let's see.... they could have: a big head, little head, long head, two heads, bent midpiece, two tails, or coiled tail. That's right.... there is ALOT that can go wrong with those little guys. Each "one" is examined and they look at the head, midpiece and tail. Can you imagine having that job? Looking at "stuff" all day long? No thank you!!
Is there any way to improve their shape? Or increase production? Vitamins? Diet? To date there has been no evidence of such. Some things know to affect the little guys are tobacco use, recreational drug use and alcohol.... but then you can also find people who have abused all and still have "nromal" dudes. So basically you're given what your've given. So that is what you have to work with.
We are now on the 2ww.... or the two week wait to see how this cycle goes. Will this cycle be the one? Trying not to think too far ahead and what the future holds (should this not be the cycle). But at some point decisions will have to be made..... but thinking/positive and hopeful for now
:-)
My faith is not yet broken!
Who knew that only 14% of sperm are "normal" shaped? Really? So you are telling me that 86% of them are "abnormal"? Well they are coming from men right. HA! What is up with the rest of them? Well... they let's see.... they could have: a big head, little head, long head, two heads, bent midpiece, two tails, or coiled tail. That's right.... there is ALOT that can go wrong with those little guys. Each "one" is examined and they look at the head, midpiece and tail. Can you imagine having that job? Looking at "stuff" all day long? No thank you!!
Is there any way to improve their shape? Or increase production? Vitamins? Diet? To date there has been no evidence of such. Some things know to affect the little guys are tobacco use, recreational drug use and alcohol.... but then you can also find people who have abused all and still have "nromal" dudes. So basically you're given what your've given. So that is what you have to work with.
We are now on the 2ww.... or the two week wait to see how this cycle goes. Will this cycle be the one? Trying not to think too far ahead and what the future holds (should this not be the cycle). But at some point decisions will have to be made..... but thinking/positive and hopeful for now
:-)
My faith is not yet broken!
Monday, August 3, 2009
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